Tips to Get Through Rough Days
Posted on December 09 2018
Having three kids is no walk in the park! There are times when I’m literally on the brink of tears due to trying to meet the demands of LIFE!
Dealing with three different personalities is taxing. All of my kids are active, but my first born was the EASIEST kid! I never had any second thoughts about doing anything with him. Movies? Let’s go! Restaurant? Sure! Church? No problem! However, my last two are a completely different story! Their personalities are so different from Jaylen’s. Now, don’t get me wrong, everyone tells you all kids are different, but it doesn’t sink in until you see it yourself.
Jaxon is a tough cookie! He will fall in line when he’s ready to fall in line. Kam is the true definition of a BOSS BABY! He runs the show, most days!
There are many mornings, like today, when we get off to a rough start. They are all mama’s boys so there’s the usual, “my mommy”, “milk mommy”, “eat mommy”, “Elmo mommy”, “Read a book mommy”, “I don’t want to use the potty mommy,” “Paw Patrol mommy, “Can I use the iPad mommy?”, “football mommy” and the list goes on and on. Sometimes I have to take a step back and take a deep breath. I must make a conscious decision to have a great day and embrace all the imperfections that make the Addai household what it is.
Before, these moments would ruin my day and I would find myself being angry that I yelled or disheartened that I hurt feelings. I’m sure I’m not the only mama that has had and continues to have a few chaotic mornings – if not days! I wanted to share a few tips that I’ve implemented that help me not to become too anxious, quick to anger or unhinged.
Tip 1: WE DETERMINE THE TONE OF THE DAY!
We know our kids. We know their demeanors and can pick up on if it will be a tough day once they wake up. If they are anxious, I try to bring calm. I help to guide their mood to what I want the day to encompass. If one needs more hugs, that’s what they’ll get. I won’t let their unpredictable mood be an indicator of mine.
Tip 2: TRY TO FIND HAPPINESS IN THE SMALL THINGS THEY DO!
Kam broke an ornament on the tree, but the way he launched it at his stuffed Elmo’s head and hit it straight on was kind of amazing! Jaxon is running through the house, screaming as loudly as possible, as he plays with his Paw Patrol characters. I’ve been hearing shrieking noises nonstop for hours, but Jaxon’s imagination is truly astonishing! Perhaps he’ll be a voice actor one day.
These may be farfetched examples, but with how active my boys are, I truly have to find the greatness in their chaos. Finding happiness in the small things and gifts in their “supposed flaws” help the day go smoother.
Tip 3: WE HAVE BAD MOMENTS BUT WE AREN’T BAD MAMAS!
When I have a bad moment, I try not to label myself as a bad mom. Putting those titles on ourselves is extremely damaging to the important roles we play – It affects how we carry out our duties and our day and paints us in a negative light. I remind myself that I have the power to turn my day around and there’s nothing unnatural about having a human moment.
Tip 3: LET THEM KNOW YOUR EXPECTATIONS!
When Jay isn’t doing his best in school, Jaxon is in a funk because he can’t have juice and Kam is having a temper tantrum because he thinks he’s entitled to cookies, I let them know what I expect from them! I let them know that there are consequences for bad behavior. Sometimes, it literally just takes a conversation – a calm conversation – to get our points across. Children feed off our energy. If we let them know what’s not about to go down, they often take heed and comply!
Tip 4: REMEMBER YOU HAVE BEEN ENTRUSTED WITH AWESOME GIFTS!
Our littles are walking blessings, greatness personified! Focusing on everything thing that they are, outweighs the few negative occurrences.
To Jaylen, Jaxon and Kam…I thank God for you daily! Through every happy, unpredictable, exciting, rough, sad or brilliant moment, I pray you always feel loved, cared for and secure!
Mamas, try these tips out when you feel you are on the brink of a breakdown. I hope they work for you the way they are working for me! I still have my moments, but every little tip helps!
Until next time Kuties!