Stay-At-Home-Moms vs. Working Moms

Keon Addai

Posted on January 06 2019

Stay-At-Home-Moms vs. Working Moms

There has always been this underlying tension between Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHM) and working moms. I never noticed it much until I began getting involved in my child's school activities. 

 “What do you do for a living?,” I was asked. 

I replied, “I’m a stay-at-home-mom.”

“You’re so young. You don’t get bored doing nothing all day?”

“Nothing! Ha!” The statement alone was laughable.

Over the years, I continued to get those same questions. I was once asked if I attended college. I never knew some working moms viewed SAHM as being uneducated or lacking ambition.  

“I have a Bachelors degree in Mass Communication, as well as an Early Childhood Teaching Certification. Staying at home was a choice, just as working was a choice for you,” I said. 

She exclaimed, “Well, what happens if your partner loses his job?”

“I’m pretty sure the same thing that would happen if you lost yours,” I replied, with a smile. 

Just yesterday, I was asked if I stayed home with my two youngest children. When I replied yes, I was met with an “Oh, that must be nice. Some of us enjoy getting out in the world.” 

For those that know me, you know that this conversation quickly became uncomfortable for the other individual, as I began to inquire as to whether they viewed one role as more important and why. 

I’m sure working moms have had some of the same insensitive or reckless responses from SAHM in regards to their choices as well. 

My question today is why is there this idea that one group is better than the other? We are all working - just in different forms and settings. Each job has its own pros and cons. 

As a SAHM, there is often the desire to have stimulating conversations with adults. Yet, there is also the overpowering joy of seeing my kids’ smiling faces when I’m able to make their lunch or attend a school party. My checklist of things to-do each day consist of laundry, cooking, cleaning, planning, scheduling and teaching fundamentals. 

A working mom may regret not being able to attend the school activities but get fulfillment knowing that she is providing for her family financially while building her dream career. They have checklist as well, it just consists of different things. 

When we look at our roles, we aren’t much different. We are all working to support our families and each position is vital. 

The lack of sensitivity is the biggest issue; not wanting to understand other people's perspectives. 

No group is superior to the other! We should be making life choices according to our own standards and not the pressures of the world. Empowerment and sisterhood should be the objective over alienation. 

Whether you’re a stay-at-home-mom or working mom, know this...Your littles love you, are proud of you and appreciate all that you do to provide for them. Let’s embrace each other more and leave the judgement at the door. 

Until next time Kuties! 

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1 comment

  • Moyah Daniels: January 06, 2019

    Had to issue my government for this response! I could not agree with you more… most of us working mom’s would be crying in the corner at the end of one of your work weeks. For some working mom’s it isn’t a choice it is necessary. How ever raising your children and supporting your family where putting your family before yourself 99.9% of the time isn’t the easiest task. Both jobs are important and no greater than the other. I commend all SAHMs! Especially the most inspirational one I know, the Owner and CEO of Kute Kompliments. You rock sis and I look up to you for all that you do! #RESPECT

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